baconsloth:

deoxyhemoglobin:

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

had the opportunity and fucking seized it

validx2:

You gotta pull her hair and spank her ass

chickenuqqet:

when you unintentionally insult someone

image

(Source: sidethots)

asian:

do girls check out guy’s butts because i have a nice butt tbh

rnackenzie:

its hard being hilarious when everyone ignores you

untexting:

I want to have the cutest relationship with you.

(Source: greetings)

kuntquats:

tag-redfield:

Guys check this out, I finally have enough beard to do that thing that turns you into an instant Disney villain…

image

image

ALADDIN GIVE ME THE LAMP 

image